Dinkaltranen

“Safe Horny” “Breeding Kink” “Mummy/Daddy GF/BF”

The worst molestation of language since some purple prose I read in an amateur writing competition.

Firstly, Freud was right, I keep saying it and it is still true. He was wrong about a lot but he was right about far more. Your parents are your first model of man and woman, and you will unconsciously seek out people like them.

Secondly, “Breeding Kink” “Impregnation Fetish”, well, you know, I’ve already talked about the difference between a kink and a fetish, and, well, this is neither of them. I can only assume the rise in popularity of this is because there are so many late 20’s early 30’s people unmarried and childless. You are biologically driven to reproduce, it’s not complicated. It’s like a holy man saying “Sex in the missionary position for the purpose of procreation.”. Really, you call that a kink?

The most porn affected generation that has ever existed and probably ever will, and the kink is… paternal/maternal partners, and reproduction.

Now here’s the interesting one. “Safe horny”. Used to describe sexual expressions in an ‘uncontroversial’ manner, usually where the subject is the victim of an uneven power balance. Really, it’s mostly masochism. Not just the “Please will a big strong man/woman abuse me” sort of way, but the public nature, the exhibitionism of it is itself masochistic. “I wish to be subordinate, and I am projecting this to the world.”

The only real “safety” is that it is usually online.

Well, every few years at University we had to do a mandatory consent and sexual violence course, which was hilarious, not only because of the examples they used, but because its claim was that any sex (or relationship) with a power imbalance is a form of rape or abusive coercion.

So until we remove the sex organs of men and women, neurologically and hormonaly neuter them, and turn them into blank slates, basically it’s always going to be rape. Having money, fame, influence, education, age, physical strength, sexual experience, race, culture, mental illness, regular illness, guess what: it’s all rape. And that’s before we even consider the biological I prefaced with.

If you want to indoctrinate an entire generation of women into thinking they are nothing but lambs to the slaughter at the hands of men… actually, that already happened. Either way, this isn’t helping. And now we have people who think their regular expression of their sexuality is a kink. Being attracted to fatherly men or motherly women isn’t a kink, it’s called mate selection, and the reason you are attracted to people like that is because that we have evolved to recognise these traits as being valuable for having children with.

Also their parents didn’t love them growing up and they are trying to fix their broken past by bringing it into the present in an attempt to correct what cannot be changed.

The overexpression of this is simply the result of 30+ years of repressing normal sexual dynamics, as well as a lot of indoctrination and ideological motivations.

Back to the power imbalance thing. Why do people choose the partners they do? Love, yes, family, yes, but more importantly the other person has something that the other doesn’t. They have something they don’t, or can’t do alone, like, for example, love. Needing something that another has immediately puts a power imbalance, it’s why salesmen exist, you want something, I want something, the entire ritual of being a salesperson is convincing you that you’re actually getting a great deal when you’re really being sold. Not that I am cynical enough to say that relationships are like this, but you get my point. Needing, wanting, requiring something that you don’t have, that another can give you, (even if they want to give it to you), from another, is a form of power imbalance. In fact it’s one of the greatest forms of power imbalances, far more than money or power over one’s career or academics.

Take for example, children, and no, I don’t mean incest. Let’s assume they’re good parents who want to look after the child, raise them, take care of them. It isn’t material, age, development that prevents the child from being equal, it’s the fact that they need these things. It is through this need that much of their relationship grows and develops. It is precisely this imbalance that drives human bonding. Friendships, relationships, everything. We are not interchangeable. Pretending we are, and that the imbalances and differences between us are only violation of abuse is the most nihilistic and cynical thing to tell young people. It rules out any kind of healthy reading of any human connection.

I’ve met a few people who didn’t need anything. One of them was a schizoid, the other was a psychopath.

I also know people who’ve dated people 10-20 years/younger, older, and then married, had children, and are still together beyond the critical period of divorce. Not everyone is Woody Allen, most people, as I’ve discussed in this piece, aren’t that freaky.

Before I graduated, I had to take a first year class that I had put off until the very end that was required for the course. For some reason the group at my table were fascinated by my age, which was at the time no more than possibly a few years beyond the rest of the class as a result of being at the end of my education. “You wouldn’t, like, date someone who was 18, right?” One of them asked me after they learned my age. No, I don’t think she was asking if I’d date her, besides, I was the one man in this entire generation born with whatever the opposite of ‘yellow fever’ is, the tone of her question was that of one who was asking if I was capable of murder. I am, but that’s beside the point.

Back to “safe horny”. Now, there is a very real possibility that being the most porn exposed generation has resulted in what appears to be a repression of sexuality, but actually is the only “safe” way of expressing their sexuality compared to their ‘true’, porn induced fantasies. If your patient can’t be honest with you, you can’t do therapy, and relationships are much the same. If you can’t say what you want, or what you want is unacceptable (I’m not saying it should be), then it will manifest in whatever way it can.

I think of female comedians, entertainers, etc, and I don’t mean this derisively. Sex, crudeness, is much of the joke. It’s not gap moe, but it’s the edginess of saying things one doesn’t expect one to say, except the joke doesn’t work because you know the gimmick before they even open their mouth. “I’m going to say something that people don’t expect a ‘proper’ woman to say.” and by now I would be about as surprised if the female comedian took off her pants and revealed a python length penis, because that’s what it is, it’s crude boy’s humour, she may as well be a boy, the joke is that she’s just like a boy, so a penis is hardly unexpected at that point.

Sexuality, especially for women, has been restricted historically. I honestly wonder if when combined with The Pill and the rise of dating apps and e-girl orbit accounts is a giant rebound from that history, but I don’t believe in genetic memory, more like that they know this can’t possibly last and so they may as well while the going is good. Like an actor or musician who makes it big – the groupies are temporary, they may as well keep going until they’re Tired of Sex.

Is that equality? Does it matter if it is? Either way, it’s clearly unsustainable for everyone involved.

I don’t honestly believe men and women hate each other, even if the latest viral poll that said 50%+ of women had negative or neutral views of men and 30% of men had similar views of women, they simply hate the idea of each other, of the category of each other, the idea that they might need someone who isn’t them, and that idea (especially considering its constant delivery to women) has been labelled subservient, disempowering, rather than something essential for connection. They hate their ex, and their bad relationships, and that they might need to go through that again to have get something they need. It’s the sort of action that requires the level of humility to beg your parents to move back in with them in your 30s. Hopefully your parents say yes, they want to help you, they want to give you what you need, but that doesn’t make you feel any less guilty or shameful, in fact it becomes resentment that you have regressed to such a point.

But, it’s a “safe” expression.

If you want to be safe, live with your parents until you hate each other and commit famillicide. If you want to live as a person, and have your needs met, you have to risk not being safe. Need in itself is unsafe, but it isn’t a bad thing. It just means that it costs you something.

I cannot express enough how living with someone else, being with someone else, makes you realise how important it is to have that risk of need, and how important it is that you pay the cost of that risk.

I don’t say this so that you die without regrets, I say this because the terror, the anger, the uncertainty of need has done far more damage to the current generation than even the most depraved pornography or romantasy.